Let’s Toast to the Sista Greats
“Being alive and being a woman is all I got, but being colored is a metaphysical dilemma I haven't conquered yet.” - Ntozake Shange
I have always been the outcast. Never with gender, but definitely with race. There was always a good number of females in my presence, some powerful beyond measure, some more submissive. But I was always the odd one out when it came to color. I found my strong sense of self within a family of strong women with different shades of the brown color spectrum and in the women of color writers, the Sista Greats, that told me stories throughout my elementary and adolescent years. My mom encouraged me to know the Sista Greats through their works. (I was the kid who had read, annotated, and de-briefed almost every major piece of writing by a women of color by middle school).
Fast forward post-college: It is a rare day that I am not the only women of color in attendance at meetings. On these rare occasions, it is usually just me and another. We give each other the traditional “Girl, I know how it is” head nod and continue with our jobs. I do not see this professional habit to be undone in the near future. But the small traces of color in between elevator rides and dining hall lines is very strong. Some might hypothesize this strength as the core that influences our successes because it defies the ignorance and the injustices that we cannot always outwardly fight. Others conclude that this same strength is also our weakness because it gives a perception that we lack vulnerability.
I have created a hard shell at work because most colleagues will never understand my true self. They will never understand why I push myself to work 3 times as hard in order to get the same treatment as them. Nor will they realize that the “under the table” stares and comments are a form of abuse that does not leave sufficient evidence for a human resources case.
See, that’s the thing about being a women of color. You are never allowed to express all sides of you in the work environment unless you lead the organization (and even with leadership positions there are still parameters). Certain things should be locked inside when you enter your office. There will always be this juxtaposition of "be you but not too much you". I dream that one day my full self will be accepted and appreciated by my colleagues. Until then, I will find support from my sisters of color through friendship, family, and the Sista Greats that have found popularity, financial security, and applause by being their true selves. This column is dedicated to their frank words, their artistry, and their legacy.
I encourage all of us to lean on them in times of emotionally professional crisis and just remember that though we may be outcasts within our work buildings, we will never be alone in the professional world. We are not going anywhere. We will continue to grow, to flourish, and to prepare the next generation to dominate.
Alexandria Noel Butler, affectionately known as Lexi B, is St. Louis, Missouri raised and San Francisco Bay Area remixed. After graduating from Stanford University in 2011, she began working in the Silicon Valley. While working, Lexi B developed a passion for the young professional experience and created the Grown Up Truth to discuss the twenty-something experience.