For Women to Women

View Original

Self-Preserve Your Path to Success and 4 Ways to Do It

4 Tips to Help You Self-Perserve Your Path to Success

“Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.” - Audre Lorde

When we are young, we are taught to share everything.  But since my sibling and I are 8 years apart and different genders, I never learned that lesson. I would never describe the younger Lexi as selfish but I would never describe her as giving.  I was not the kid who freely gave my fruit snacks away during afternoon snack nor would I eagerly give away my cupcake at a birthday party.  But if someone needed something and asked nicely, I would always be flexible. Fast forward 2 decades and here I am as an adult with a similar attitude. But this time I am in company with a much larger group of people.


Your co-workers, your managers, and the leaders of your organization are looking out for themselves.  Never take this as a negative trait, but rather just another professional reality.  Most people are using their day to day activities to decide their next move and you should be no different. Remember that you own your career and most companies care about what you can do for them. Loyalty is only loyal for the here and now.  Even the nicest working environments have reductions of workforce to help save the company from a bad financial year. I have personally experienced 2 layoffs at my organization.  Thankfully, I was not affected but I have witnessed the packing of office supplies as team members left with severance packages.

While it is not possible to take 100% control of your career, here are a few tips to help self-preserve your path to continue your empire:

  1. Always Look For A Job - Neva, Neva, eva, eva, say no to an interview.  You should always be looking for a job.  This does not mean that you are not content at your current situation; it just means that you are always open to new opportunities. Always keep in touch with contacts in areas of interest.
  2. Invest In You - Spend your extra money on making yourself better. Participate in leadership conferences, go on a crazy vacation, and pay the personal trainer to get you in great shape so you have the stamina to continue your journey.  
  3. Stay Current - I am not the best financial researcher, but I do look at the stock prices of my workplace and our competitors about once a week. These continued fluctuation prices will always give you a rough estimate about the performance of your company.
  4. Find an HR Bestie - HR people are ALWAYS “in the know”.  They will never be 100% blunt with you, but people find ways of dropping hints about layoffs and things.  Also, HR people know other HR people at different companies. They are the perfect friends to get you connected with people that could push your resume to the top of the pile for the next adventure!

I challenge you to spend some time thinking about what form of self-preservation you will work on that will lead to a life you deserve. Remember, it is not indulgence but rather survival!


image via



Alexandria Noel Butler, affectionately known as Lexi B, is St. Louis, Missouri raised and San Francisco Bay Area remixed.  After graduating from Stanford University in 2011, she began working in the Silicon Valley.  While working, Lexi B developed a passion for the young professional experience and created the Grown Up Truth to discuss the twenty-something experience.  To receive daily updates about Lexi’s adventures, follow her on Twitter and Instagram.