by Janet Brown

Loving yourself, what does this mean? I would describe it as loving yourself unconditionally and accepting every aspect of your being. 

Generally, women are not taught at a young age to love themselves in this way - we are taught to be polite, nice, caring for others and so on. Often times, self-love can be mistaken for selfishness and a lot of women do not want to be labelled with this tag.

My journey for self-love began in my 30s, after my marriage broke down and I wanted to find the answers why. It’s funny how a crisis can challenge us to be still, explore, patient and try something new.

In my quest to find out more, I began by  reading self-help books. I also began meeting people who were  on their own journey of self-discovery, where we would share our thoughts and feelings. There was also a spiritual change going for me, on how I viewed the world. By reading, I realised that others had experienced the deep thoughts that I thought only applied to me.

I started to unravel the onion skin and realised that I didn’t unconditionally love myself, by the very thoughts I had about myself. I wanted others to love me despite me not doing this for myself.  

Whatever you think about yourself will manifest in the actions you show to others.

When we feel pain it is a sign that all is not well. At times we don’t take heed, we end up doing the very thing that hurts us over and over again. 

It’s amazing when we open up and explore there is so much more to us. Yes, I still have had down moments but I now use tools that I’ve learnt to support me, namely meditation, self-development courses/groups, creating positive thoughts and energy. I am in a very different place now to back then. When I do well, I punch the air and say you go girl! 

So, ladies take the time out to love yourself unconditionally, at the start there may be challenges - this is usually the of fear of the unknown. Make a commitment to change step by step and have a plan of how you want to do this, it may include getting support through coaching or counselling.

Have you looked at your mindset and the thoughts that manifest? Start to change by having positive affirmations  to replace the negative stuff.

Here are few ways to start living with a positive outlook on life, while  loving yourself and life itself

1. Allow the past to be the past -breath in and out. 
2. Start looking in the mirror and telling yourself you are beautiful. 
3. Live in the present. 
4. Show gratefulness to your body for working. 
5. Embrace yourself every day with a hug and smile. 
6. Don’t allow anyone to get in the way of your progress. 
7. Spend quality time with yourself.
8. Read positive books,listen to tapes,music and talks.
9. Tell yourself your valuable loving and unique .
10. Spend time with people who support the changes you are making.
11. Be prepared to shout and scream and then laugh and smile. 

How are some ways you replace the negative energies in your life with more positive ones?