written by Carla Thomas

I cringe when I see pretty women acting ugly in public. 

My heart sinks when I see women so distraught that they are bugging out in public. I see women yelling at someone on the phone or arguing on the train. What I am really seeing are young women giving their power away. I see them place their power in the hands of someone else.

We give away our power when we let others upset us, when we get defensive, become submissive and act against our well-being, and when we act from guilt or intimidation.  We give our power away when we care way too much about what others think and not enough about what we think of ourselves.

Stop Giving Away Your Power

I see it every day. Grown women on social media acting out, co-workers upset over something another co-worker said, women cursing out their significant other. People just hurt, angry, upset, and giving away their power without realising how powerful they are.

And I’ve been that girl. That girl who let her ex-boyfriend her so upset that she was cursing him out in Harlem on 137th and Lenox on a Sunday morning. But as I’ve grown up and grown in Christ, I now realised that there is a blessing in being in control of your emotions and I don’t let anyone knock me off my cute. 

I am powerful because God is in me and with him, I can control how I feel.

With God’s help, I can tame my tongue and when I give God the second before the movement, I can control my emotions.  I like my “oldies but goodies” so when I’m in the heat of the moment, I hear “I Second That Emotion” by Smokey Robinson and the Miracles in my head. This to me means that before I lose control of my emotions, and before I let someone knock me off my cute, and before I lose my power, I give God that second before I make a move. That way, God is controlling me and He seconds that emotion.

We have to understand that we can keep our power when we don’t let our words or actions trigger us into anger or defensiveness.

I own my power when I don’t lose control and act in ways that I am ashamed of and regretful about. I retain my power when I choose to act, think, and feel my own thoughts in a way that’s appropriate.  

We are more powerful than we could ever imagine.

No one can make you feel anyway without your consent and no one can make you act out.

When we own our power, we live a more peaceful and enjoyable life. So when others try to get you to act ugly, give God the second before the movement, own your power, and keep it cute.

About the Author

Carla Thomas is the Founder and Editor of Mad Style and Grace. She is a creator, writer, and all-around fly girl who is blessed, highly favoured, and trill.