Navigating Daddy Issues: Breaking Free from Shame
IMAGE COURTESY OF UNSPLASH
by Shannah Burden
No, I'm not that woman. You know, the woman who complains about the negative effects of not having a father around.
You see, it was never really that 'deep' for me. I honestly didn't care about it until my adult years, when I heard men discuss how they try to avoid fatherless daughters like the plague.
I asked why, and they said, "Women and their daddy issues are too much to deal with."
Daddy Issues
Daddy issues? What daddy issues? Because the women I know had the same problems I had, even with their fathers in their lives. I wasn't ashamed of being fatherless until that point simply because I cared more about the thoughts of men than anything.
But here is the issue with that. I began trying tirelessly to fill that void by placing my uncles and other family men in my dad's place.
I thought, "Well, at least I can say I have a male figure in my life." But these male figures weren't precisely the type of men I would want my future children to "look up to." While I love them dearly, their views on love, relationships and life were entirely different from mine. And that's okay! Because I love them regardless.
But I began to feel ashamed. It was almost like my fault for not having a father around. I felt like somehow having a father would actually 'validate' me.
However, in every mess, there is a message, and I want you to know this:
Do not drive yourself crazy over what anyone else thinks. It's just an opinion it is not ‘Bible.’ It's perfectly fine if a man decides not to be with a woman who wasn't raised with a father. It just means that that man isn't for YOU. God didn't make any mistakes! Don't feel guilty over something you couldn't control. Guard your heart and mind against foolish opinions. You are the apple of God's eye.
You can be better than what you're used to - that's right! So what if all you know are single mothers in your family and divorce? Who said that has to be YOUR story? Yes, family is your bloodline, but you're also a part of God’s bloodline. Don't limit yourself to your circumstances.
There is nothing to be ashamed of; you are important, and God validates you. Push all criticism out of the way and push forward.
However, in every mess, there is a message, and I want you to know this:
It's just an opinion it is not ‘Bible.’ It's perfectly fine if a man decides not to be with a woman who wasn't raised with a father. It just means that that man isn't for YOU. God didn't make any mistakes! Don't feel guilty over something you couldn't control. Guard your heart and mind against foolish opinions. You are the apple of God's eye.
That's right! So what if all you know are single mothers in your family and divorce? Who said that has to be YOUR story? Yes, family is your bloodline, but you're also a part of God’s bloodline. Don't limit yourself to your circumstances.
There is nothing to be ashamed of; you are important, and God validates you. Push all criticism out of the way and push forward.
“Do not drive yourself crazy over what anyone else thinks.”
Have you ever felt out of place because you grew up without a father or a strong male figure?
About the Author
Shannah Burden is a motivator, blogger, and the ordinary girl next door on an extraordinary mission to empower young women everywhere through her non-profit organisation, No Validation Needed. A native of the small town of Harleyville, South Carolina, Shannah hopes to travel the world and reach millions with her story of hope and unshakeable self-confidence. She plans to build an empire with No Validation Needed, and she wants to reach others through various creative avenues.
